To be married or not to be married

A girl like me has to choose wisely who she associates herself with. Relationships are not my best bet when it comes to survival. I don't have blue prints for affection and natural boundaries of any sort of social interaction. All I can do is work on myself and hope I make the best of what life throws at me. And this last part includes a lot of loneliness.
Then, a man walks into my life and makes me question all my previously instated coping skills. He is kind, supportive and loving. I know that because even when I fart, he chuckles and thinks it's cute.
He comes from a very loving family. He was sheltered all of his life and life with me looks much like a roller coaster from his perspective. He wants a family and marriage. As if this was not odd enough, I put him through every possible test for the past 3 and a half years of us being together. I even considered him to be clingy or have a dependence problem at a certain point. I also thought he may have started dating me to rebel against his proper family, to get attention: kind of "Look at me, I'm dating the broken girl, she has a past and the sex is great."
I don't care about his reasons for dating me. I know what I'm dating him for: intimacy. Learning to be intimate without sex and learning about society through him and with him. It's been a great ride. Even if it ends, I think I got my money's worth. Thing is: he may want to marry me. First reaction I had: the profound impulse to run away and hide and avoid the "forever" word. I met his parents and I know I'm not a favorite when it comes to family. I'm the bad girl, with emotional issues. I make it difficult for people to naturally like me outside sex.
If I will ever marry him, I will take it one day at a time. No forever. If he'll respect me on regular basis, I'll move on to confronting bigger obstacles. Until then, I won't sabotage myself and our relationship. I won't end it based on future intensely felt tensed life choices.
I owe it to myself, to let this relationship flow naturally, to the end or continuation of it. When I imagine the future I don't see all of it, I only see me. I don't see eventual skills I may achieve by then. I don't see escape doors and interesting growing opportunities that may arise with time and patience. I owe to myself to be patient with myself. I don't want to be like my mother and reject myself, not have time for my own problems, minimize my emotional world. I will take it one day at a time and honor each feeling as it comes. Even if it takes a lifetime. Time is all I have. I will spend the rest of my time nurturing myself. I won't nurture another person, unless it feels natural to do so. It's all about me till all is felt, all is lived, all is accomplished.
To marry or not to marry: I will, only if it feels right. I won't stop myself from living.