sorting out emotions

As I already mentioned, my emotional life is a gray mesh. I can't really distinguish love from joy, from sex, from optimism, from anticipation, from acceptance.
Since I'm being assaulted by all these memories, not all of them bad, I'll try to categorize them by emotions, clean up my emotional department, better known as Limbic System and/or Primitive Brain, that I have kept closed for centuries. For years, I literally had a recurring dream of pitch black darkness. I was floating through this darkness and I saw a tiny door, with light all around it, but before I could reach and open it, I would wake up.
The door has finally opened after the ominous death of my pedophile uncle. Emotions that I thought I wouldn't have to feel ever again flooded me like a river of fire. They were all locked behind the tiny door and eager to escape into my conscious mind.
After the initial shock, I started recognizing certain emotions that I never knew existed. The first and most important one was SAFETY. I never had a safe spot. I never knew where my mind should go when I was in danger.
I remember the first time I felt safe: I was taking a nap with my grandma. We were spooning and she felt enormous, fat, warm. Her giant body was like a fortress and nothing bad could happen to me if she was around me. That is safety. The feeling of safety should be made of acceptance, cause grandma accepted me for what I was. To her, I was perfect. She was teaching me day by day how to function, without yelling, without scaring me, without judgement. There was also Joy in knowing I was being accepted, therefore valuable to someone. And Joy + Acceptance = Love. I have experienced LOVE, which is the single, most important feeling in the whole human experience.