Friday, October 29, 2010

Middle School Religion

I must have been about 13, in middle school, when this lady showed up in our classroom. She was in her thirties, pretty, slim, big blue eyes. She was to teach us religion. I don't know what exactly qualified her for that particular position, since I don't remember her to even be a teacher. Maybe she was known to be a devout Catholic or who knows?
Thing is, she went through the routine about God, Jesus and the Holy Crap. Someone asked her what made her be so infuriatingly sure about the existence of God. What prompted her to come to us and tell us these stories? Was she securing herself a place in Heaven, by teaching us the way, by converting our dirty souls to good morals and such?
Here's her answer, and I'm not making this up:
One day she was walking down the street. A man started following her. She didn't know this man, she sped up her pace. Eventually she lost him in the crowd. The next day, this man was following her again. This routine continued, until one day the man approached her and declared his non Christian feelings for her. Oddly enough, her reaction was not run-as-fast-as-you-can-while-screaming-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, which, given the circumstances, would have been the appropriate reaction. Instead, she prayed to Jesus the man would leave her alone. I guess she must have thought she qualified for sainthood or something. The saint of saying "No" to a stalker. She continued her story with more of that struggle between the stranger and herself. I don't remember once thinking of Jesus, or being more attracted to religion throughout her story. I do remember, however, wondering if this kind of story was appropriate for a 13 years old audience. I liked the gal unconditionally at that point. She literally prayed God not to let her cheat on her husband. She was punishing herself for adulterous thoughts. That time was the last time she showed for religion class. I like to believe she caught on with herself and understood the magnitude of her statements and was too ashamed to show her face again, like a good Catholic school girl.
Looking back: repressed sexuality will do more damage than an army of demons.

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