Father's figure

Many of the self help group people advise to believe in a Higher Power. Have faith. The Higher Power loves you. And it may be true.
It's just this blind act of having faith that I don't trust. I had faith before, in the greatness of the Higher Power. Look where it got me: my father abused me and told me I was a sinner.
Incidentally, my father believes in a Higher Power. He goes to church every Sunday, he fasts and he keeps every Christian holiday as if it were his last.
Now, forgive me if I don't care to worship the same Higher Power that he worships. I look like my father and I hate those biological traits that I share with him. All my life I wanted to be so different from him, to convince myself that him and I have nothing in common. I evolved as a species, I got smarter, I refuse to have anything in common with that man. Yet, every time I look in the mirror, I remember him. I am his daughter. I am trapped. In hell. With my father. And a long time ago, I desperately wanted him to love me and stop hurting me. Why is this Higher Power so cruel? Where do I find the strength to have that blind faith? I have fear, not faith. I have fear of my father. I have fear that other "worthy" men, may hurt me. I have fear that this Higher Power is as elusive as the love I never received from my father. I can't have faith. Too busy defending myself. Am I becoming like my father in that respect?
Because all of us are worthy in the eyes of the higher power. Even my father. Is there a chance that my soul will meet his again? I hope not. His soul sucks.