Crying in Dreams

I have very realistic dreams in regards to my family. I also cry in my sleep. I cry from the heart, with passion, my sadness fueling the tears. Breathing tightens and my crying is like the universal flood.
I dreamt my father, who was still fat and harassing me and I was immensely sad. I have a problem expressing sadness. I can only cry in quiet, alone moments, when I feel safe and away from everybody.-the mere fact that I need to feel safe in order to cry shows my inability to ask people for help-. For once I'd like to be encouraged to cry by someone I trust. Of course I could only trust an evolved human being, deeply connected to her own nature by instinct: a mother figure. The universal mother. The mother I never had.
I learned that difficulty in identifying one's emotions is called alexithymia. It has a name! Knowing that enough people have this problem, in order for science to come up with a name for it doesn't bring me any solace. There are 7 billion of us on this Earth. Numbers are bound to be great.
Will I ever feel protected? Will I ever feel important and safe outside of my own input? Will I ever feel safe enough to cry in front of someone and express my ocean of sadness left into my soul by my family's actions? Will this ocean of sadness, ever go dry? What should my healing process be motivated by? What's the ultimate goal, the ultimate image I must aspire to in order to feel healed? Is there a goal, or is this an ever growing ordeal, as long as life itself?