knots

I read the legend of the Gordian knot when I was about 7 years old. It was about this king who had conquered a lot of territory and in order for him to achieve supreme power, over the entire world, he had to solve the mystery of the Gordian knot. This particular knot was very intricate and no one could ever sort it out. The king got impatient and cut the knot down the middle with his sword. The morale of the story is that things can be achieved in more than one way.
Ever since then I took an interest in patient tasks. I can figure out any knot. I can do those mind bender puzzles and all sort of mind challenging games. Inevitably, I started comparing my emotional life to a knot. And to give it dramatic presence, I compared it to the Gordian knot. I am aware that working through the massive threads of emotion that have been piling up on top of my being abused is kind of like getting lost in a maze. I understand that I need patience to find the one thread that would eventually straighten out my emotional life. And that one thread would be truth, the core of my entire being. I like to envision it as a golden thread, with steel strength, thick enough, but not coarse.
But sometimes, only sometimes, I wish I had a sword.